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Moby Clique (The Bard Academy), by Cara Lockwood
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Some literary classics have been around for centuries. Miranda Tate's just hoping to survive junior year....
Her summer reading assignment is Moby-Dick, but Miranda's vacation hasn't exactly been smooth sailing. Between working at her stepmother's hideous all-pink boutique, and having broken up with her basketball champ boyfriend Ryan, not to mention snoozing her way through one of literature's heaviest tomes, she's almost looking forward to returning to Bard Academy. That was before her kid sister Lindsay smashed up their dad's Land Rover and got shipped off to Bard herself. Is the punishment Lindsay's -- or Miranda's?
A private school staffed by the ghosts of famous dead writers is hard enough to navigate without a freshman kid sister in tow, but now Miranda's trying to sort out her feelings for her brooding friend Heathcliff, who happens to be a fictional character, while keeping Bard's secrets from her nosy sister. And when her nemesis Parker handpicks gullible Lindsay to be a Parker clone, Miranda knows a storm is brewing. Then, Lindsay disappears in the woods...and a frantic search sends Ryan, Miranda, and Heathcliff to Whale Cove, a spot rumored to hide a sunken pirate's ship. But something -- or someone -- even more ominous and terrifying lurks there. Can Miranda stay the course and save her sister?
- Sales Rank: #2712516 in Books
- Published on: 2008-03-04
- Released on: 2008-03-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.00" h x .80" w x 5.00" l, .46 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
About the Author
Cara Lockwood is also the author of I Do (But I Don't), which was made into a Lifetime movie, as well as Pink Slip Party and Dixieland Sushi, and Every Demon Has His Day, all available from Downtown Press. She was born in Dallas, Texas, and earned a Bachelor's degree in English from the University of Pennsylvania. She has worked as a journalist in Austin, and is now married and living in Chicago. Her husband is not a rock star, but he does play the guitar -- poorly.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
One
Call me bored.
As in -- terminally.
I'm a hundred pages into the Longest Book I've Ever Read -- Moby-Dick -- Bard Academy's summer reading requirement. If you ask my opinion, Herman Melville could've shortened this tome by about five hundred pages if he wasn't so long-winded (I mean, twenty pages alone on the color white? Yeah, I got it -- okay? The whale is WHITE. Sheesh. Get on with it!).
I glance out the grungy window of my Chicago Transit Authority bus seat and see jet skiers and windsurfers dotting the horizon on Lake Michigan. I have to take the bus to work because my driving privileges are still revoked (see: Dad still holding a grudge about his totaled BMW from a year ago). Looking at the long stretch of water, I find myself wondering what it would be like if that whale came to life. I can almost imagine a wave becoming a giant whale, rising up, and swallowing three jet skiers whole.
A bike darts in front of the bus and the driver slams on the brakes, throwing me forward and nearly making me drop my book. For an instant, I feel adrenaline running through my veins and my muscles tense up, ready for a fight. I half expect Moby Dick or some other menacing fictional character to appear out of nowhere. I have to remind myself that those things don't happen out here in the real world. My heart rate slows down and I take a few deep breaths. I'm not at Bard. Not where ghosts walk the halls and fictional characters come to life. That was just another posttraumatic Bard moment.
But some of you probably never heard of Bard.
Let me recap.
My dad sent me away to delinquent boarding school (Bard Academy) for my sophomore year after wrecking his Beemer. But what he doesn't know is that Bard is not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill boarding school for delinquents. It's staffed with the ghosts of famous writers, and fictional characters sometimes come to life and wander the campus. This is Bard's big secret, but few people know it. Just me and a few of my friends. And by the way, we managed to save the school (oh yeah, and the world) twice from total annihilation. You see, not all the ghosts there are good ghosts. I found that out the hard way.
I close the book on my lap and take a deep breath. At Bard, some books hold special powers. But out here, away from school, the book is just ordinary, I remind myself. Nothing to worry about.
Still, just in case, I tuck the book snugly into my backpack. You never know.
I glance out the window and recognize the strip shopping mall where I work. I'm about to miss my stop. I grab my bag and push open the back door, then step out into a humid August day. There, glaring at me in hot pink, is the sign I've come to hate. It reads "In the Pink" and it hangs above the store that belongs to my Dad's third wife, Carmen. I've been forced to work here all summer without pay to help "offset my Bard tuition," which is how Dad puts it. I never thought I'd see something scarier than some of the ghosts I'd come face-to-face with at Bard Academy, but Carmen's shop is one big horror show. There are pink plush toys, pink garters, pink toothbrushes -- and (serious ew here) pink edible underwear. It's nice to know that instead of saving for my college education, Dad has opted to fritter my tuition away on inflatable flamingos and posters of pigs in ballet tutus. Clearly, In the Pink (or, as I like to call it, In the Puke) is of so much more social significance than, say, me becoming a doctor and one day curing cancer. Not that I would, but In the Pink definitely isn't going to.
"You're late," Carmen says to me the minute I walk through the door. She's snapping pink bubble gum at me as she tosses a pink, furry boa over my head. This is what she forces employees (i.e., me) to wear. I glance up at the clock.
"Technically, I'm an hour early," I tell her, nodding at the giant neon pink clock in the shape of lips on the wall.
"You know that clock doesn't work," Carmen snaps.
"Like half of the stuff in here," I mumble, but she doesn't hear me.
"Honestly, Miranda. If you were mine, I would seriously think about disowning you," she says. This is Carmen's idea of being warm. My "stepmom," who hasn't been able to keep a goldfish alive and has the mothering instincts of a brick, is twenty-six. That's not even a decade older than I am. This is why I sometimes call Dad a pedophile just to see him get mad. It works every time.
I ignore her and take up my place behind the cash register. I plunk down my bag and open up Moby-Dick. There aren't exactly dozens of people clamoring to buy broken lip clocks.
"Reading? Again?" Carmen scoffs. "I don't know what's gotten into you since you've been back from Bard Academy, but you're reading way too much. You know reading causes you to have to wear glasses. And that would just spoil your whole face."
I want to tell her that never having read a book in her life has probably spoiled her whole brain, but I managed to bite my tongue. Comments like that just make their way straight back to Dad, and then he threatens to send me off to juvenile detention. As it is, I'm just three days away from heading back to Bard Academy for my junior year. Normally, I'd be dreading it. But, recently, I've found myself actually wanting to get back to Bard.
In some ways, the real world just seems so, well, boring. Besides, at Bard, I'm someone special. Turns out I'm part fiction, distantly related to Catherine of Wuthering Heights fame. At Bard, I'm more than just my dad's child support payment or Carmen's surly employee. I really am someone. Someone who saved the school. Twice. Here, I'm just one more underappreciated adolescent taking the bus and working a grunt job.
"Anyway, I've told you a million times that you can't read while we have customers," Carmen scolds as she wraps a long piece of her newly highlighted hair around one finger.
I glance up and around the store. There are no customers. Not unless you count the eighty-year-old woman who's been nosing around the fifty-percent-off bin. As I look up, she picks up a pack of edible underwear, sniffs it, and then drops it back in the bin.
Gross.
"No reading while we have customers," Carmen says. "We have an image to uphold."
I can think of a million smart things to say here. Like the fact that I'm sorry to be reading when we've got such a stampede of customers lining around the block to buy pink Post-it notes that say "Queen of Pink" on them. Or the fact that I can't see how Moby-Dick would do anything but improve the image of a store in a strip shopping mall stuffed between a dry cleaner's and a Dunkin Donuts.
Instead, I settle for, "Oh yes, we're the model of sophistication," while I hold up a pink roll of condoms in a package shaped like a lollypop.
"Shut up," she snaps, because Carmen never can think of anything smart to say back to me. Dad certainly didn't marry her for her sparkling personality, that's for sure. She grabs the neon condoms out of my hand and puts them on a nearby shelf.
Three more days. Only three more days. And then I am out of here and back to Bard, and to...my complicated love life. In one corner, there's my ex, Ryan Kent, state championship basketball player. Gorgeous. Smart. Sweet. And totally uninterested in dating me anymore. In the other corner, there's Heathcliff. Brooding. Mysterious. Serious bad-boy mojo. And completely off-limits because he's a) a fictional character, and b) did I mention he's fiction? He is the original bad boy from Wuthering Heights and the Bard faculty told me explicitly that I couldn't date him because he doesn't belong in this world.
Most girls my age have to worry about whether or not the boy of their dreams knows they exist. I have to worry whether or not my boy actually does exist. It's a strange, strange world.
I put my hand to the locket I wear around my neck, the one that contains a bit of a page from Wuthering Heights. It's the one thing that's keeping Heathcliff in this world. If it were destroyed, he'd be sent straight back to his fictional universe. That he gave it to me speaks volumes about how much he trusts me -- especially since Heathcliff normally doesn't trust anyone.
The shop bell dings and my dad walks through. Reflexively, I frown. Dad and I do not get along. That's because Dad has the emotional maturity of a fourth-grader. And I like to point this out. Often.
"There's my baby!" he says in his exaggerated enthusiasm reserved only for Carmen. He gives her a leer, which makes him look like a lecherous old man. His bald head gleams in the pink fluorescent lights of the store.
"Honey bear!" she cries, and she runs over to give him a sloppy kiss. Tongue is involved, and I feel like I'm going to vomit. I long for the days when Dad and Carmen fought. That was before Dad dropped a hundred Gs on In the Puke. That's paid for probably a lot more than French kisses. The thought makes me want to wretch. There's only one thing worse than imagining your own parents having sex, and that's imagining them having sex with someone else.
He doesn't acknowledge my presence at all for a full five minutes while he and Carmen exchange sickeningly sweet baby talk. Just when I feel like I'm very close to putting my own eye out with one of Carmen's pink fuzzy disco ball pens, Dad looks up and sees me.
"How's my little worker today?" Even Dad can't manage to keep the sarcasm from his voice. "She hasn't caused you any trouble today, has she, Carmen?"
I haven't caused trouble the whole freakin' summer. Not that Dad would notice. Even now, he's already distracted by the edible underwear display. He doesn't even have the attention span to listen to Carmen's answer. Not that I want his attention. If he's not ignoring me, that means he's threatening to send me off to juvie.
"She's been fine, although you know she's reading too much," Carmen says. "It's a distraction for the customers."
"Oh yeah, and that isn't?" I mumble, glancing over at the bachelorette section with the giant blow-up pink penis. You know, because little old ladies who are shopping for pink stationery and pink ballpoint pens are a...
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Courtesy of Teens Read Too
By TeensReadToo
In WUTHERING HIGH, Miranda Tate gets sent to the remote boarding school, Bard Academy, on Shipwreck Island off the coast of Maine, because she smashed her dad's Beemer. Throughout WUTHERING HIGH and its sequel, THE SCARLET LETTERMAN, Miranda discovers that Bard has interesting secrets, and slowly adapts to the strange ways of the school. Now, after a summer at home, she's actually looking forward to returning to school.
Things have changed this time, though. Now, her younger, popularity-seeking sister, Lindsay, decides that Bard is the cool place to be. After their father has another car destroyed, Lindsay is beside Miranda on the boat that takes them to the remote island school. Waiting alone at the dock is the mysterious Heathcliff. Readers of the previous novels have come to know that Heathcliff is really the fictional character from the book WUTHERING HEIGHTS, who has been released from the pages of the book for a three year reprieve with the promise that he won't leave the island nor become involved with Miranda.
This is easier said than done. There have been electrical sparks between Miranda and Heathcliff from the first day they encountered each other. Throw in an ex-boyfriend, Ryan, that Lindsay is crushing on. Add a motley group of friends: Blade, the Wiccan ex-roommate; Samir, sent to Bard for refusing to an arranged marriage when he turns 19; and Hana, Miranda's new roommate. And last but not least, don't forget Parker, the popular girl that is out to destroy Lindsay and Miranda for trespassing on her turf.
Now, back at school for her junior year, Miranda hears stories of pirates and buried treasure. Her sister has gone missing to prove to Parker that she deserves Ryan. Instead of settling in to be a good girl this new semester, Miranda and her friends journey into the forbidden forest on the fringe of campus in search of her sister. There, the group of students encounter all sorts of events and try to keep their wits about them.
You will get drawn into the ghost stories that surround Shipwreck Island. The speed of the events that unwind in the forest will keep you engrossed and your heart racing. From pirates, to ancient burial grounds, to the legendary ship Pequod, there is never a dull moment in the story. You will be left feeling winded but wanting more.
Cara Lockwood writes a fascinating story intertwining literary works with a current tale. For those that are not fans of old works of literature, Ms. Lockwood is able to bring some of that knowledge to you without you even realizing you are learning about them anyway. Even for those that have never read the classic MOBY DICK by Herman Melville, references are made to parts of the story that everyone will recognize. You do not have to have read the previous two books in THE BARD ACADEMY series to enjoy this one. Details are much clearer with the background of WUTHERING HIGH and THE SCARLET LETTERMAN, but they are certainly not necessary.
For fans of both modern teen stories and classic works of literature, this will not disappoint!
Reviewed by: Jaglvr
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
moby clique
By Viola Sanders
"Moby Clique" is the 3rd installment in the Bard Academy series, and, as usual, Cara Lockwood has written a hilarious book. In my opinion, she writes some of the funniest books out there. Much to my excitement, this Bard novel showcases Sylvia Plath & a pirate theme. Throughout her adventures, Miranda's relationship with Heathcliff develops-- I sincerely hope there are more Bard novels to come.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Love this!
By Jaded_Gal
I stumbled upon this series by accident & LOVED IT. After finding a copy of the 1st book, Wuthering High in a bargain bin at a local book store I immediately hit Amazon for the next available 2 books. I was not disappointed with either, Moby Clique or The Scarlet Letterman. The book centers around Miranda, a spoiled, very spirited 15 year old from Chicago who gets sent by her parents to a strict & secluded boarding school after one of her tantrums totals her fathers car & maxes out her step moms credit cards.
Yeah, I didn't want to like Miranda, but it was hard not too. I was attracted to the book series because of how Lockwood uses literary characters throughout, not because a desire to read teen angst. Miranda begins obviously as a bratty one dimensional character but grows into so much more, I loved her by the end of Wuthering High. After giving in & embracing Miranda, I enjoyed reading each book just to watch her emotional growth & maturity change from book to book.
What I WAS disappointed in was MTV books. They were the 1's that published the 1st 3 books in Cara Lockwoods "Bard Academy" series & for reasons unknown to me they did not wish to publish the 4th & final book, A Tale of Two Proms. REALLY MTV? You'll publish Rich Boys by Jenny O'Connell, not exactly "high art" but refuse to be part of the publishing of the 4th & final book in a series. A series that I'm sure sold as well, if not better than O'Connell's Rich Boys.
In the end I had to buy the last book as an ebook, which sucks, I'd like to have a PHYSICAL COPY to place on jt bookshelf with the other 3. But, no dice....
This will appeal to females, ages 11-18, not very racy, some kissing but it's all PG. I like how Lockwood used literary characters throughout the series, it was a fresh new take that was fun to read. This series is light, fluffy, a total guilty pleasure read, yes there are tense moments where Miranda & friends have to save the day, but it's so innocent I'd have no problem letting my 8 year old daughter read it. Nothing disturbing happens within the pages of any of the books. If you have a tween-ager, teenager or just like lightweight fun reading material, give it a shot.
5 stars all around...from start to finish!
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